Wednesday, June 13, 2018


Ok, it just occurred to me that I didn't blog about the day after my One Day More post. So this is what happened....


Malaysians have spoken and we managed to change our ruling government of 60 years to the then-opposition! I mean, WHAT!?

It was a real shocked for us believers, needless to say the skeptics who kept chanting that we are having false hope this whole time.

It was a truly proud moment for most of us, we tried our best to share information, to participate in every little effort we thought would help make our country a better place. Malaysians scattered across the world did this awesome Amazing Race to send back their ballots with all the tireless volunteers and transporters who made sure that all the ballots reach wherever they should be at. The overwhelming responses were so touching, it was unbelievable.

Although I am not too sure if we are at a better place than before, it is just nice to know that the change most of us are hoping for, happened.

Now it's time for us to pick up all the pieces and to march towards the future that most of us hope to see.

9th May 2018, a day that all of us will remember for life. Thank you God for letting this happen, and to show the world that the people are in charge of the country.

🎵In the Eyes of the World - Ella


Am on my writing genes again where I felt compelled to at least write about something significant that happened to me. 

It's always amazing how a simple word you said, an introduction to your background, a simple utter of promise could be such an impact on others. 

In this case, just telling people where I was from.

Way back when I was working in Yellowstone (4 years ago!??), I got to work with people from various backgrounds and cultures, many which makes me wonder how come people from my part of the world seemed to work way harder than others, until she came by. Perhaps it was after a tiring few weeks at work that anyone who is willing to stay a little longer at work would be my new best friend. And she did! It was so nice to finally found someone who clicked so instantly, who feels what you felt at work and who is as capable as you hope others would be, Ag was my bestie at work and that made working wayy more fun. We used to talk about everything, especially about cultures and sort and it was sad that I moved to the dinning room to work after where I got to work with her significant other, M. It meant that Ag and I could only meet when its meal times but still, we've always seemed to be able to find things to talk and share about,

La-di-da... the summer passed and then it was time to say goodbye, it was pretty hard for me, having to say goodbye to one of my bestie. They held a wonderful farewell party and it was such a cozy one, it was so surreal. I was the only Asian that night, it was not just a privilege, it was so nice to get to see how people of different parts of the world hang out together, casually. Reluctantly, we bit our goodbyes that night, promising each other that we will eventually meet up again someday, at our respective countries or sort. It was a brief promise, where I thought like most farewells, promises are just words uttered out of reluctance... 

4 year swoosh by... And poof! In comes a message saying that Ag and M will be coming to visit Malaysia! Months passed and finally they arrived! I was so truly happy and honored to meet them again! It was like a dream come true, knowing that they traveled for almost 2 days just to come and pay your said country a visit.

I really can't describe how it was like spending that few days with them, but it was no where near being awkward and strange... I guess this is how it is like, meeting people who clicks with you. Even though you all haven't met for years, things just seemed to be fine, like the four years didn't happen and things seemed so casual like we met regularly.  And oh! To have someone being as in tuned with broadway musicals as you!! It was super fun to listen to a song that makes your heart melt with someone else who feels the same when she listened to it! 

They told me that no one in their country would ever visit Malaysia as most have never heard of this country, and if it's not because of me, they won't either. I was so touched. They saved up just to come to this part of the world, to a place of unknown, a place that is so different from where they came from and they accepted us just as well. 

We barely went anywhere together but I can remember that the time spent with them, are like gold. 

It's been a month, and I still am fascinated by how is it that people from different part of the world can feel so comfortable with each other. Their visit really left me in awe with the coincidences that the Lord can create, thinking about the odds of us finding friends in each other in the world of 7.2 billion people. 

Am still fascinated by it. Now, I just hope that next time it will be my turn to fulfill my part of the promise! 

My current jam..

🎵In My Blood - Shawn Mendes

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

One Day More

So as Malaysians, tomorrow may be one of the most important day to us (At least to me, in my lifetime) where we all gather together again to practice our rights as Malaysians, to truly determine how our future will be like inn the next 5 years once again. 

It has been a wild ride since 5 years ago and all of the dramas has build up until today, where many of us will be tightening our fists, sweating eager perspirations, praying earnestly for a better tomorrow as we all cast our ballots by day and await for news announcements by night. 

We hope to hear good news, to hear change, to hear hope from the speakers or see our silent dreams come alive. It has been tensed, complicated and worrisome, not only to the candidates, but the potential voters alike, we all do our little parts to make things a little better, gripping on the little light we can catch here and there when someone says something that would change our lives forever, or when someone gives a different perspective on what's actually happening now, or what could happen tomorrow...

In this time of division and conflicting news, the silver lining will always be how united we all stand as a nation when we understand that that's the only way we can be a better country. 

It's just amazing how complete strangers could meet and do favors for each other, willlingly, to bring back the rights of others who could not come home to join the parade of anxious waiting and endless cheering. It's always at times of division and desperation where we see people sprouting out of nowhere, offering to help each other exercise everybody's rights to vote, knowing that their votes won't make the cut had they not do something about it. 

It's also enlightening to see how many people stood up to volunteer time to help ensure a more fair and clean election, going for multiple trainings, keeping up to date with the latest updates given by the election commission committee, helping each other to answer bewildered questions and just teaching each other how to show respect to everybody's preference of political parties which was quite amazing. 

What's more interesting is to see former nemesis(s) join hands, forgoing their past and work together for one common goal. It's just really weird that real life happens like cartoons where all the superheroes will only make use of their strongest and mightiest superpowers when their are on the verge of being totally destroyed by the villains. Which in this case, unity as their superpowers which they only use when there's no turning back in the damage that has been done to the country. Why do people only try their best and make amendments at the very last minute?? 

I guess the optimist side will tell me, oh wells, at least they realized their mistakes and are willing to see through the differences to realize our common goals, to do whatever possible we can to contribute the little we can for this crucial moment of the country. 

Just to close, I just want to congratulate those who regret or will regret what they did not get to do anything about the whole situation just because they did not register or registered their voting status late... I guess the thought that you could have done something too provides comfort and peace in this important time of our lives. 

As we await for the day to come, I do pray that all of our efforts will not go to waste, and to urge each and everyone out there, your little insignificant efforts will mean a lot when we all understand how essential every vote is and how big the impact can be when there are just a difference of one or a few votes which determines the fate of Malaysia. 

May we all be well. Thank you Malaysia, may you be better and stronger after this!!!

Redemption Song - Bob Marley

Monday, April 9, 2018

Letting Go Again

So, I've finally revamped my blog again. This is more customized as I used one of my pictures as the background. Although am not sure it makes this space looks more comfortable, it's a huge leap for me to not hold on to the past as I've been telling myself for years to change the layout, update the pictures and delete obsolete links that no longer existed. But yet, there's this little tug in me that always say 'stop' when I was ready to click the 'save settings' button.

So a lil' pat on my back to finally de-clutter stuff that are no longer irrelevant to my world today. Bye bye past, and hello fresh blog!

It's amazing how it has been 10 years since I first blogged in this space. Am no where near being a successful blogger, nor do I have any consistent readers out there, it's a space that I am contented in sharing pieces of my mind with the world, with occasion new and old visitors.

If you are return visitor, my heart shouts a huge 'YOU ARE AWESOME' to you and giving you a virtual hug. And if you are a new visitor, welcome to my humble space and hope that you didn't feel that it's a waste of time stopping by.

A BIG Thank you for those who clocked the little number of views I have, it encourages me that it ain't zero most of the time and at least I know, at least, someone out there views this space.

It's funny how I looked back at my drafts and did not have the courage to publish even though this tiny space is so secluded from the world, and yet, I still can't foster that bit of strength to click 'publish' now. Haha... If you are reading this, at least this get published! 'YAY!'

Till my next post, my wish is that you will stay true to yourself even though it means letting go of your past (if it makes sense). Or rather, stay true to your current self, embrace who you are and do not let the past drag you on... (Oh wells, hope I made some sense there.)


♫ Somebody that I Used to Know - Covered by Walk off the Earth (They are such a cool band)

Tuesday, February 20, 2018


The feeling when you know your dream came true when you have this spotlight moment in the middle of a pretty mundane routine, staring at a picture you drew 2 years ago.

And what was that picture, a simple dream, which is to bring my grandma back home to stay with me.

I always thought it will be very very difficult to achieve, but somehow, at that very moment, I realized I've made it.

So, a couple of days ago was Chinese New year, and as years went by, people stopped having celebration at my grandma's place as she stopped cooking and started coming to mine. It became a routine that grandma only comes to our place for celebration and goes home, but somehow this year, we decided to tell her to stay with us a couple of nights before she goes back home. The normal her will protest and demand to go home, but on that very few days, she was like an angel, agreed to stay with us and the most wonderful news was that, she became my roommate.

Then I looked at the picture I drew 2 years ago which is hung in my room and I realized, that's it. This was what I visualized to happen and it did. God bless Mr. Goh's soul for doing that Law of Attraction workshop with us and it allowed me to draw what I really really wanted to happen. And it was Ron who pointed out that it does sound like faith in God as well, we believe that God will hear our prayers and deliver and it will happen. In a way, law of attraction is like faith, ain't it?

Although it may not be for as long as I wanted the stay to happen, it made my heart feel so full and warm. That feeling of bliss made me want it to be more permanent... Made me told myself that I can do it every day, as much work as it may be caring for an elderly.

It blew my mind that for 3 days I woke up seeing the little perks and mini conversations with grandma about where she is and whether I have eaten already and to talk about nonsense just to tease each other.

The forth day came and went, and it was time to bring grandma home. It was so surreal and hurtful, the reluctance of sending her home, the guilt of not being able to take as good care as she received the past few days is overwhelming.

As I watched the empty side of the bed, the tinge of sadness fell as you know that you won't feel as motivated to get up the next day having to hush her up as well.

It was a wonderful and pleasant few days and I will forever be thankful for the precious moments spent with my adorable grandma and I thank God for the innocence and the little talks that caught me off guard which makes the night a lil sweeter than it already is.

As I am typing this, will have to keep MY's granny in my prayers as her health seems to be going downhill. It's heart wrenching to hear about it, needless to say the nightmare MY is going through right now. May her granny find strength to recover. Same goes to WL's grandma who is struggling as well, may she recover soon.

On side note, nanay just told me they had grandparents day in her grandson's school. It's a brilliant brilliant idea, why haven't I thought about it? Fingers crossed it will be an upcoming project to happen soon. ^^

Do you have any grandparents story which makes your heart flutter?

🎵Brave - Sara Bareilles (to the grandma and grandpas in the world who tell us innocent things, and for encouraging us to be brave in facing all adversities) 

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Where Has the Time Gone?

It's just crazy how fast time flies.
One moment you were 12 dreaming about high school life, yearning to join the band,
next moment you are 17, joined the band and look forward to college life,
Fast forward, you finished college and is wondering where to go for your university life knowing exactly what you want to study,
And then you find yourself in a university you never thought that you will end up in and found this exact thing that you will give your life up to be a part of.

Before you realize, you are on a slightly famous stage, playing an instrument you never thought you would ever play.
And then you took your first trip to a country that you don't even know where it maps on the globe (needless to say imagine going) and for the first time, acknowledge what poverty really means, and how simple a happy life can be.
Soon after that, you found yourself your first ever job and had a blast within that short few months before heading to the land of freedom.

Next, you found yourself working in one of the most beautiful places in the world, working in the kitchen, where you found new love for making food chemistry.
You yearn to travel out of the tiny little village you stay in, all the hiking, hitchhiking, the animal sight hunting, there adventures, the thrill of walking in the wilderness, gasping about the possibility that you will encounter wildlife in a inappropriately close manner... The pitch dark nights decorated by millions of stars where you lie on the near zero temp ground, shivering the night away...

Just when you finally found your place on this foreign land, it's like you finally understood where you want to belong, with strangely friendly people, the peace found in the noisy city, the everywhere can be a dance floor lifestyle... And just when you felt that it was all just... right... you were hit by the fact that you have to go home... Home? You thought to yourself, felt strangely warm and weird, nothing feels right, but nothing feels wrong too...

When you start to realize that the beautiful dream has long gone and the harsh reality takes over your life, you landed up in a job you never dared to think about.. working with a child of differential needs.

It was a hard first couple of months, being screamed at, smacked, hair pulled, dealing with buckets of tears, but the outcome was so fulfilling, you thought for a moment that you could do this for a long long time.

Then the monstrous feeling of comfort sets in and you suddenly caught yourself getting  bored of the mundane life you have, yearning for adventures once again, although you are literally going through adventures with the lil boy every single day.

Years went by, you decided that it's time to change... To change for the better, courageously gobbled down whatever pie life serves you, and woke up realizing, this isn't your kind of pie. More wasted time, more things to whine about, you learned that you do not work well with time aplenty.

You ferociously gobble down this pie, hoping that it will leave your life as soon as possible, looking forward to the new pie life has to offer, hoping it will feel better...

You waited and waited, hoping something wonderful will appear, and you noticed that piece of pie that has been lying around for quite some time and decided, maybe this is it, it has been around for some time, maybe it's time to take a bite, and at first bite, you feel it inside your bones that this is not the piece of pie you have been looking forward to. You thought to yourself, well, you have already taken a bite, it's your responsibility to finish it...

Until today you are still trying your best to finish that piece of pie, anticipating the next piece of pie, hoping that it's what you have been looking for...
Will you ever find it? Or will the monstrous comfort tie you down in this uncomfortable yet relaxing life? Who knows? Time flew faster than anyone can and along the way, time meets age, will you ever?

🎵What's Inside - Sara Bareilles (Song from the Musical Waitress)

Monday, October 30, 2017

Good day!

I guess today is one of those days that I feel more inspired and energetic as usual.
It's funny how these things actually translates to how I behave, and that even sis could spot that I am extra chatty and cheerful than other days (Not that I am normally gloomy, but I am just a lil' more hyped up than usual).

Its' funnny how discovering about yourself could make one feel so much better in terms of coming into terms of my feelings and suspicions.
What happened today?

Well, it has to start yesterday when I managed to do something right and stayed at grands.
It resulted in early rising and a earlier head start on this beautiful day,
Which then led to earlier arrival and the opportunity to go through the entire service.
And with service, it was a reminder of how we as a church should move in order to receive and spread grace.
Though this ain't the first time I've heard of it, it was refreshing listening to the lesson with my homies, hopefully it sparks some hope in our future...

In the second session, we were given a chance to learn about our 4-alphabet types and understand the roles we play in church,
Never have I imagined that personality tests could be applied in the roles we play in church, was like the gates of enlightenment opened and much of what we have been feeeling all this while fell into words, and words explained some kind of phenomena a few of us were trying to explain but yield no results.
It was rather lonely, but it feels great when someone explains the inner conflicts and monologues one may experience to the entire congregation, it seems like a pass to be who I've wanted to be or what i really am without all the judgements...
It just felt great to have insights even though I knew my personality type long time ago.
The future is bleak still, but at least we should still be the good news people, there's still hope.

An idealist can dream dreams, and may this idealist's dreams come true!

It was a great day, grands was superb and it made me feel like a proud parent just looking into a contented grands... Aww....

On side note, Kleff Eco-film fest was superb. Had the privilege of watching one of it's session, it was insightful and delightful. Just hoped that when people watched them, it stirs something deep inside them and actions can be taken care of.

P/S : I also got mysel a Nature Core lap desk which I absolutely love!!

There's so much to be done for the environment, we have to learn to contribute by at least decreasing our rubbish amount!

It's just a great day and I'm contented.
Thank you Lord for this wonderful day! =)
Thanks Uncle E for the reflections.
Thanks to all Eco warriors or the work to protect Mother Nature.
Thanks to the fambam and grans!

Bon Iver / Birdy - Skinny Love

Wednesday, October 4, 2017


Had been thinking or writing another post recently and finally got to do it.
There hasn't been much going on lately, everyday is just another day of wondering and finding out how to make the day a little useful.

I have so much to talk about, but yet, nothing comes out of my mouth.

And once something comes out of the mouth, it isn't what I wanted to say. Weird, right? Being someone who thinks a whole lot but could not allow the thoughts and feelings flow out.

Am in another phase of life now, it isn't marriage or sort, but I guess is where I feel too old to be young anymore, but yet live a relatively kiddish lifestyle which I myself feel hard to stomach too. It's also the time when I find myself dull and boring, unlike to fun, adventurous person I hope to be. Change is a funny thing. It gets people excited, but at the same time dread for it to happen. The most challenging part of being someone of habit is that changing of lifestyle seldom take place. For example, my parents have been people who follows the exact same routines and habits, which is why we seldom do adventurous outings or tried exotic food. During uni, I've seen myself as someone as outgoing and open as anyone else, but to my surprise, I almost always follow the safe side of the road, eat the safest possible food I can find, and tend to do things the 'safe' way, which is the way I am used to. Even mindsets alike. Oh gosh, how can I be so similar to my parents despite knowingly know that that's not how I want to lead my life?

Speaking of which, I would like to talk about the 'theory of speaking your mid out'. It does sound a bit funny, but do hear me out. So, as someone who thinks quite a bit (at least I'd like to think so), I am often jumbled in thoughts and finds it difficult to align my thoughts well that most of the time, I tend to use the 'wing it' method. I just say whatever comes up on top of my mind, hoping that it will be the best thing that would come out of my mouth, and often times regret what I said or didn't say, struggling to find ways to make good whatever is left undone. That's the most part of my life, 'winging it. It's not like I am particularly proud of it, but it's reflection I made myself.

Been hoping to start another blog where I can write 'professionally', thinking that I'll always have the content to write about and did some research about other platforms to do so besides my own personal blog. It surprises me how much confidence I have in myself before this. haha... Where did I gather all those confidence to start another blog when I can barely speak anything which makes sense to the people I know? Still, there's this weird aspiration that I have in me that tells myself, it's time to start one. hahahah..