Thursday, January 25, 2018

Where Has the Time Gone?

It's just crazy how fast time flies.
One moment you were 12 dreaming about high school life, yearning to join the band,
next moment you are 17, joined the band and look forward to college life,
Fast forward, you finished college and is wondering where to go for your university life knowing exactly what you want to study,
And then you find yourself in a university you never thought that you will end up in and found this exact thing that you will give your life up to be a part of.

Before you realize, you are on a slightly famous stage, playing an instrument you never thought you would ever play.
And then you took your first trip to a country that you don't even know where it maps on the globe (needless to say imagine going) and for the first time, acknowledge what poverty really means, and how simple a happy life can be.
Soon after that, you found yourself your first ever job and had a blast within that short few months before heading to the land of freedom.

Next, you found yourself working in one of the most beautiful places in the world, working in the kitchen, where you found new love for making food chemistry.
You yearn to travel out of the tiny little village you stay in, all the hiking, hitchhiking, the animal sight hunting, there adventures, the thrill of walking in the wilderness, gasping about the possibility that you will encounter wildlife in a inappropriately close manner... The pitch dark nights decorated by millions of stars where you lie on the near zero temp ground, shivering the night away...

Just when you finally found your place on this foreign land, it's like you finally understood where you want to belong, with strangely friendly people, the peace found in the noisy city, the everywhere can be a dance floor lifestyle... And just when you felt that it was all just... right... you were hit by the fact that you have to go home... Home? You thought to yourself, felt strangely warm and weird, nothing feels right, but nothing feels wrong too...

When you start to realize that the beautiful dream has long gone and the harsh reality takes over your life, you landed up in a job you never dared to think about.. working with a child of differential needs.

It was a hard first couple of months, being screamed at, smacked, hair pulled, dealing with buckets of tears, but the outcome was so fulfilling, you thought for a moment that you could do this for a long long time.

Then the monstrous feeling of comfort sets in and you suddenly caught yourself getting  bored of the mundane life you have, yearning for adventures once again, although you are literally going through adventures with the lil boy every single day.

Years went by, you decided that it's time to change... To change for the better, courageously gobbled down whatever pie life serves you, and woke up realizing, this isn't your kind of pie. More wasted time, more things to whine about, you learned that you do not work well with time aplenty.

You ferociously gobble down this pie, hoping that it will leave your life as soon as possible, looking forward to the new pie life has to offer, hoping it will feel better...

You waited and waited, hoping something wonderful will appear, and you noticed that piece of pie that has been lying around for quite some time and decided, maybe this is it, it has been around for some time, maybe it's time to take a bite, and at first bite, you feel it inside your bones that this is not the piece of pie you have been looking forward to. You thought to yourself, well, you have already taken a bite, it's your responsibility to finish it...

Until today you are still trying your best to finish that piece of pie, anticipating the next piece of pie, hoping that it's what you have been looking for...
Will you ever find it? Or will the monstrous comfort tie you down in this uncomfortable yet relaxing life? Who knows? Time flew faster than anyone can and along the way, time meets age, will you ever?


🎵What's Inside - Sara Bareilles (Song from the Musical Waitress)