Surprise! Of love and packages

I have been wanting to write this special occasion down
So that I wont forget it one day.
So, yours truly isnt JUST adult anymore.
This year, it was quiet...
Though it was on a Sunday,
It was really really quiet...
No one remembers the insignificant event,
Just a couple of special ones remembered.
I guessed its also the best celebration in a sense.
It felt a bit weird to only get a text about it...
But I got a whole lot of love from the special few.
First off...
I found a package outside my house one fine day...
And I thought it was a magazine..
But when I saw those stamps...
I knew who's the mastermind behind all this...
My silly friend took all the trouble to make sure I receive an airmail before the day..
I was shocked!
The first ever airmailed package!!!!! Hahaha...
Someone remembered after all!!!
It sat on my bed for 2 whole weeks before it saw light..
Then, a very cute friend of mine made an appointment so that she could call me!
She is wayyy too cute.
And we talked on that day! Haha...
She was so worried I wont be free to pick up a call... haha..

And on that day,
It was way quieter than the other years...
But I like it that way...
My mom and sis planted a gift in my room by midnight,
Sis posted on my wall to make sure I see it...
And now the cute lil thing is sitting on my bed! ^^
Dad, he was way funny...
He said that he was heading to KL,
So I wasn't expecting to have dinner with him.
And spent the afternoon decorating our lil Christmas tree...
Its the most beautiful tree ever!
Well, at least to me.
The night before, us gals sat down and made ornaments fkr our tree... i
It was fun....
A day I longed for a loong loong time..
Us doing things together..
I knew mom and sis are trying hard to make me feel happy...
And I was, indeed..
After that, I wanted to watch Nodame the movie agaun,
Mom spent the afternoon watching it with me..
Then, dad came back.. with cake. Haha..
And he brought us out for dinner and we brought granny!! ^^
It was a wonderful meal..
After meal and cake, I got to found that
Dad spent the afternoon running around for my gift.
They were wayyy too cute! Haha...
Granny was happy, I was happy...
For the first time in a looong time,
I feel very special on my day...
thanks to my wonderful and amazing FAMILY!!! ^^
And my special friends.
I got a special gift from someone by midnight too which made it even better..

Two days after,
Mom woke me up...
Apparently a box came for me...
She thought it was a purchase..
When I saw it... I was shocked...
It passed by many countries to get here,
another silly friend of mind did it again.
I was totally speechless looking at it.
And boy it was heavy...
I have never received such a huge gift before..
Nothing really flew in independently to be fore
Just so I feel loved on my special day.

This time, I got so many surprises...
I really wonder who did I do to deserve such family and friendships...
But I really do cherish and treasure these unique individuals,
Who knows how to make me feel like the most special individual,
Even though its just for  a day.

To my lovely people,
I love you all tru and tru...
I thank God for letting you guys enter my life and me into yours...
May you all be blessed with tons of wonderful blessings,
just as how you guys blessed me...

From the deepest sincerity in my heart,
Thank You So So Much...


Thank You - Jayesslee

Abyss

Am not sure if anyone reads this anymore, but I have this suddenly urge to post something here today, after
3 years of Psychology Degree education,
10 days of my first outreach in Philippines,
4 months of wonderful time working with a bunch of cheerful people,
4 days in Siem Reap, AOF mission trip,
4 months working and living in a real life dream, Yellowstone National Park,
1 month traveling around the well know cities in the States,
and 1 month plus at home,
I am sitting right here, right now, aimless, passing day by day wondering,
What's next?

I practically lived in a dream for the past few months,
Doing things I would have never imagined myself doing,
completing the course I've been wanting to complete more than half of my life,
being to places where I didn't even know existed last year,
Saw the most beautiful sceneries in the world,
met some amazing people who are different from anyone I've met before...

What now? What's next?
I find myself ruminating about these 2 questions a lot recently.
Let's face it, I still want to continue this wonderful dream,
thinking life is a bliss,
Telling myself that don't have to worry about life, money, work, education, family...
And continue the wonderful streak of seeing new heights alone.

I can't help but to replay the memories I had in Yellowstone,
I won't lie...
They made me feel special in a way,
Gave me a special place to be at,
reminded me that I left a part of me there when took my last bus ride out of Yellowstone and never came back....
But when I wake up from that beautiful dream, I feel like a brat.
You see, I sort of lost the ability to think,
to plan, to be competent,
to do fore-thinking, to be hardworking....
And I hate that...

I read lots of articles on how to be more efficient,
how to make the best out of our time,
how to behave like a VIP in life, being on top of the game all the time...
I know all the tips, but I don't feel any different.

Like most people, I went to Yellowstone thinking that I will get to see a bigger picture of my life,
While working in a different country with people of different nations around the world, waiting for that 'A-HA' moment to wake me up and know what I want to do next...

It never did wake me up.... I am still dreaming.... which is, sad...

Anyway, just wanted to rant as I don't really know what to do at this very moment.
Yes, I am a tad bit sad that I didn't get to blog when I was in Yellowstone...
There was always so much to do, so many peopele to meet, so many places to go....

While I swim in the liquid of abyss in my mind, I shall continue to hope that the Lord will shine the way.... And I won't make a decision that I will never regret....

Good night peeps...

B team, B stands for BEST

This post was meant to be posted two weeks ago... But I didn't manage to click on the 'post' button, coz I really didn't want to say good bye....  But I am really touched right now, my heart feels a tinge of sadness mixed with a pinch of happiness.... J really made me feel like crying....

This part is written last week, when it was my last .


Everytime I listen to 'All of Me', my heart skips a beat.
It's really beautiful~~~
Am glad that it's also W's favourite song. =)


Have been on an euphoric mode the past two days.
I am just overjoyed..
The people around me,
Ivy, Jah, Ai, J, Linda and the lecturers were all so kind to me..
It's a bit overwhelming as they do many things that my own family and friends won't do for me.
They tell me what should I do in desperate occasions,
always there to my rescue whenever I meet difficult students,
made sure I was alright throughout my whole course of working with them,
saw that something was wrong with my legs asked me and scolded me for not going to the Dr.,
being the only people who replies to my funky lil' moves,
going along with whatever silly little tricks I was plotting,
taking pics even though they don't want to because I asked them to,
bringing me out for meals,
taking such a great care of me...
They get angry when I was 'bullied' by others,
knowing that I love to eat,
they made sure I get to try all sorts of food.

Oh ya, I shouldn't forget JG as well. The one who took the initiative to make sure I know what to do in US from head to toe.... Thanks dude! ^^

They always say they will miss me... They love me a lot...
Even my family don't say that to me that often.
Haha... I am the one who will miss them dearly. 

For the past four months, they have been my friends, sisters and family...
I don't know how to write out how I am feeling right now,
but it's joyful + Sad at the same time...

Lord, you blessed me with all sorts of good things,


_______________________________________________________________________________

A tragic news was delivered last Sat morning,
a great man, Mr. Kenneth Phun was announced to have passed away in his sleep in a church retreat at Frasers Hill....
I woke up, reading this sad news on my tablet,
and I can feel that the rest of the gals were as shocked as me even though we didn't meet face to face...

I felt really bad as I remembered my last thought of him wasn't a good thought and I left without saying goodbye that day. I can't believe that I would never get to do that again...
Guilt can be a painful thing....
But lucky for me, W said something which makes sense:
We shouldn't rule out what a person has done just because they have passed away...
Yeah, many times we feel bad for not have much fond memories about a person
and feel that we should not think of them at all...
But the truth is, the person impacted us when they are alive and no matter whether we have good or bad memories of the person, we should not pretend that whatever that happened did not happen at all.

Guess this helped me realize that it's self-inflicted guilt and I should remember both the happy and not so happy memories of Mr. Kenneth, the jolly HOD who always have time to play. =)


This tragic event allowed me to stay at the department for one more day.
We went to the wake together... And I am glad I went with them...
Tthe wake of this jolly man who had obviously inspired so many people throughout his life and is resulted by the number of people who came to attend his wake service.

I stumbled upon something which made me realize how much of a sister J is to me.
I am ever so blessed to be able to meet people who loves and care about me.
Now I have a keychain named after me!!! Hehehe...Feel so honoured and touched! Hehehe.... =D

Now I don't feel so reluctant to leave as I know I will be back and meet all of them again soon~
The one extra day I had is sufficient to know that our friendship will last for a long time. ^^

My Family, the people who had been my world for the past few months, who supported me in everything that I did... I cannot thank you all enough for being so amazing and for making me feel so wonderful...

Through the Fire-Chaka Khan

Because I'm Happy~

Its midnight again,
A time where my thoughts run free,
when my brain is most stimulated.

Am munching a plum right now, an expensive plum which daddy bought for me just beacuse I craved for it.
It's not sweet, or amazing, not the kind of plum I was craving,
but its really satisfying.

For the past few months I have been validated more times than I had ever been my whole life.
I can't tell enough how awesome my colleagues make me feel,
though I know that I am not that great at all...
But today was the day I feel loved and wonderful.
One major part of my job is to validate people's parking token,
I had to validate around 30 tokens each day and they come at differing times of the day.
They were all very friendly and polite,
and I am secretly glad that I had to do the job as I get to meet and talk to people everyday.
There's this pretty lady who always comes in with a smile,
and never failed to strike a conversation with me, even if it's just a brief 'How are you?'.
She's my fav among all those who comes to validate their token.

Today she came again, as usual passing me her token to be validated and put a Gloria Jeans box on my table. I thought she was just putting it there as she waited for me so I did not pay any attention to it. 
Then she passed me the box,
saying 'This is for you. Thank You for always smiling, I know it's not easy to do it everyday... It means a lot to me...'
It caught me in surprise as I would never think that people would thank me for small little things like that.
But at the same time I was touched that she is so thoughtful as to remember me...
For something that I don't do consciously, it mattered to her, I am glad.
As she was in the midst of talking to my colleague, I overheard that it's sort of like her last day coming so often as she finished her practicuum.
I was a bit sad and I didn't know what to do, because she's the first I'll be saying bye bye to before I finish my contract...
I wanted to give her something to  thank her for making my job a lil' more interesting,
but I didn't have anything with me..
In the end, all I did was to ask her if I can take a picture of her.
Had to use Olympus as Nikon wasn't with me today...
Her Chocolate Hazelnut pie (Or something like that) really made my day...
She said it's her favorite and she hope that I'll like it,
it was touching and I really really feel grateful and the pie is super YUMMY!!!!!
Hope to see her again soon! =)
I'm a happy girl! ^^

Thanks Christy! You're so cute and beautiful at the same time, all the best with your internship! ^^

" People who can make others feel great are Great people themselves"... 

Just now this thought came into my mind:
Devils are like dust,
We have to clean it everytime, thinking that we will be clean after that,
But it comes back,
Then you'll have to sweep it clean again, and it comes back again...
Dust never actually go away, they just disperse and comes back and clot until it's visible to us.
It's just like how we are everyday, we try to keep ourselves away from the devils.
but the it keeps coming back,
and many times we live with dust,
feeling lazy to clean it off...
Forgetting God's word, forget to read the bible,
Forget to ask Him for help.
So we succumb to sinning.
I guess what we need to do is to clean the dust daily,
read His Words each and everyday to keep the devil away,
even though he doesn't actually go way, at least we can remind ourselves to keep away from him.
I really hope that this dust analogy can be my motivation to read His Words. hehe..



Shallows-Daughter

There are times...

There are times when I would like to have a portable car.
A car which I can bring myself everywhere,
fetching the people I care a lot around,
pick them from their distress,
bring them to the most amazing ice-cream place ever,
bring the whole group of people to have a warm dinner together.

Sometimes I would like to drive a bus,
so I can fetch a whole bus full of people for the cause we all believe in,
to places we want to explore together,
to leave no one out from the adventures we embark on,
going anywhere and everywhere who needs us,
without having to worry about how to get to places.

Some times I just wish I have an eye for details,
the special ability to look at the small things in life,
to be able to spot mistakes,
make adjustments to the tiny whinny errors made,
to perfect the imperfections in everything,

to make the world a little prettier,
to help reduce the work of others.

Most of the time I would like to be more disciplined,
making sure that I do everything I want to do constantly,
reading the scriptures each and everyday,
listening to beautiful voices everyday,
jotting down each and every details of my life so I won't forget,
spare more time with the people I love,
to keep the words I have promised,
give to others to the best of my ability,
constantly. 

There are also times when I wish I could be better,
being in a much further place than I am now,
to be able to know more about people,
without feeling a little less of my self,
to be able to improve from who I used to be,
be able to get better in the things I do from before,
instead of standing at the very same spot I was 5 years ago,
going no where...


But most of the time I am fascinated,
about many things in life,
like how come kids can say things like chicken in replacement to kitchen,
how amazing some people can be when they sing or play the violin,
how come such wonderful pictures can come from an amateur photographer,
how can people take pictures with such impact at a time of terror,
how freely birds can fly,
how amusing my colleagues find me to be, 
how happy children in Cambodia can be,
how friendly Philippinos are,
how powerful love can be,
the way my parents show that they love me and my sister,
the secret to grandma's way of making me feel awesome,
the great creations God has made,
the love that God has for each and everyone of us...
how life is an irony that the more awesome I feel about myself, I feel worst about myself.

We can't always get what we want, so we just make the most of what we can get.

The sun will always appear after a storm, 

hope will never cease. 

Lord willing, I can be better. 

I miss AOF, having kids to cling on me, 

I miss eating Roasted needle mushrooms with butter!

Do You Want to Build A Snowman - Kristen Bell / Katie Lopez / Agatha Lee Monn

Random Ramblings

Ailey
Biley
Ciley
Diley
Eiley
Filey
Giley
Hiley
Jiley
Kiley
Liley
Miley
Niley
Oiley
Piley
Qiley
Riley
Siley
Tiley
Viley
Wiley
Xiley
Yiley
Ziley

Haha.... Guess which is my favourite?

Having little burst of energy in the middle of the night, something woke me up, not sure what is it, but at least I feel much better and hopeful now. God gave me the energy to move on and I thank you Lord.

Had been feeling kinda low lately, nothing seems to excite me, but am glad to feel a little of my 'strive till the end' momentum back, even if it's just the middle of the night. Been searching for things to occupy my time after work, yes, work. Sadly I became part of the working class, but am glad that I am working with great people. Just that life seems to lost it's momentum for a bit, as in, what can I do? And what do I look forward to everyday? It's funny that it's so easy to find things to look forward to while I was still a student and not when I really have time to do the things I want, like now. Had a sudden realization that I could do so much, and I just need to choose one to do at a time. =)

A drama got me thinking, what if my future self comes back and tell me to do things differently? Would I listen to her? Or proceed to doing things my way? Hmm.... Knowing the eccentric me, I would have gone my way no matter what. But it's the future me calling for help, it's me essentially and she saw that what I am bound to do won't lead to a good life, should I listen to her then? Hmm...

Another thing that kept me thinking was the person who was once your best friend, your sister, your ex, your parents, the person who is next to closest person to you, suddenly became strangers... How could such things happen? And what should we do to prevent this from happening? Cause it's like a nightmare in relationships, the thing most people fear most in their lives. Shouldn't we be paranoid about it and find ways and means to ensure that this won't happen?

A friend posted something like, my personality is what I am born with, and my attitude is towards who I am with. Sounds legit... Is it true? Hmm...

Dunno why, I suddenly felt a tinging feeling that I have lost touch with music... Hmm... I miss making music~ lalalla~~

Ok, guess it's enough ramblings for the night. Finally posted something after wanting to for the past few weeks. Nights folks~

 2 Corinthians 6: 1-10

As God’s co-workers we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain. For he says,

“In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.”

I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.

We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

City of God (A beautiful song)

I Feel like My Heart is Gonna Burst

Sometimes when I listen to a song I really like,
really really like,
it makes me feel as though my heart is gonna burst.
I can't comprehend why, but it just feel awesome....
Makes me feel inspired to do the song,
to sing it out with all my heart and soul,
hoping that it sounds as beautiful as how I heard it.
It's just amazing,
that feeling.
I just want to be able to get people who can create beautiful melodies with me,
be it a band, orchestra or my own acapella group.
I just want to sing,
I just want to play,
with everything I have.

It's a new year again,
many things have changed.
I am no longer a student anymore.
Though it does not make much difference as I get to go to my uni everyday still,
but when I get home everyday,
it just feel, different.
I want to have assignments, rush for events, have practices, and just listen to lectures.
And I realized, all these won't happen anymore.
Things are different even if I take my Masters...

But one thing that is fortunate is that I get good colleagues.
My third day of my official job went by blissfully.
My colleagues are just so cute and welcoming.
Thank you Lord. =)

My uni life gave me so much that till now I still flip back to the past to relive some of the most wonderful moment in my life.
Also, I got to achieve things that I secretly wanted to do in my uni life.
Yeps, I played in a band,
an official band,
as a guitarist and a bassist.
Fulfilling the dreams of my previously amateur mind,
thinking that by knowing a few chords, I can play in a band.
Though it wasn't a perfect performance as I screwed up some parts,
it happened.
And I loved my oldies and miss them dearly.
Also, I got to be the vocals at KLPAC, even though I was just a harmonizer.
Something I really wanted to do after watching lead singers like Hayley Williams, Jung YongHwa, Demi Lovato play and sing, wowing everyone...
It just feels AMAZING...
I love the stage,
yep, I like to be on stage, A WHOLE LOT!
And God gave me a stage.
I am blessed.

I went to Philippines for a mission trip,
Organized camps accommodating around 600 campers,
Bought groceries amounted around 2k for aborigines,
Pulled off a stage play and a mini musical of singing and dancing,
Had an exhibition and production  performance in a mall,
Learned how to design,
Shot pictures for official events,
Won colloquium, twice,
Played in a netball team,
Hiked 2 mountains,
Tutored maths to a secondary student...
Performed at two contemporary concerts,
went to my first artist concert in my life, JASON MRAZ,
1st MPO concert,
1st STOMP concert...

This is a beautiful beautiful world.

Taken at Kibungan Mountain range.

Life is just wonderful.
And I never regretted joining HELP.
Period.


Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova