La-di-Da

Had been thinking or writing another post recently and finally got to do it.
There hasn't been much going on lately, everyday is just another day of wondering and finding out how to make the day a little useful.

I have so much to talk about, but yet, nothing comes out of my mouth.

And once something comes out of the mouth, it isn't what I wanted to say. Weird, right? Being someone who thinks a whole lot but could not allow the thoughts and feelings flow out.

Am in another phase of life now, it isn't marriage or sort, but I guess is where I feel too old to be young anymore, but yet live a relatively kiddish lifestyle which I myself feel hard to stomach too. It's also the time when I find myself dull and boring, unlike to fun, adventurous person I hope to be. Change is a funny thing. It gets people excited, but at the same time dread for it to happen. The most challenging part of being someone of habit is that changing of lifestyle seldom take place. For example, my parents have been people who follows the exact same routines and habits, which is why we seldom do adventurous outings or tried exotic food. During uni, I've seen myself as someone as outgoing and open as anyone else, but to my surprise, I almost always follow the safe side of the road, eat the safest possible food I can find, and tend to do things the 'safe' way, which is the way I am used to. Even mindsets alike. Oh gosh, how can I be so similar to my parents despite knowingly know that that's not how I want to lead my life?

Speaking of which, I would like to talk about the 'theory of speaking your mid out'. It does sound a bit funny, but do hear me out. So, as someone who thinks quite a bit (at least I'd like to think so), I am often jumbled in thoughts and finds it difficult to align my thoughts well that most of the time, I tend to use the 'wing it' method. I just say whatever comes up on top of my mind, hoping that it will be the best thing that would come out of my mouth, and often times regret what I said or didn't say, struggling to find ways to make good whatever is left undone. That's the most part of my life, 'winging it. It's not like I am particularly proud of it, but it's reflection I made myself.

Been hoping to start another blog where I can write 'professionally', thinking that I'll always have the content to write about and did some research about other platforms to do so besides my own personal blog. It surprises me how much confidence I have in myself before this. haha... Where did I gather all those confidence to start another blog when I can barely speak anything which makes sense to the people I know? Still, there's this weird aspiration that I have in me that tells myself, it's time to start one. hahahah..